Facebook Etiquette Musings

I am a bit of a Facebook addict. I work as a freelance graphic designer from my home, in a comfortable little “office” formerly known as a guest room. I have a beautiful iMac computer with a large screen, on which I often view my friends’ statuses, updates, travel photos, favorite quotes, and more.

It’s the “more” that I’d like to address today. When I am taking a break from working, I often scroll down my Facebook page filling my full 27″ screen, and let me tell you, there are some things which were not meant to be shared at this size.

I love you, friends, and I would never block you or choose not to see your posts, because 99% of the time I just love what you share with me.

But, here’s what I could stand to see less of in 2015.

Injuries. Yours, your pet’s, your child’s. If you are lost in the woods and you’re sharing the photo to get immediate emergency first aid advice, please go ahead and broadcast the goriest photos you need to. But if you just sliced your finger cutting melons, or stepped on a shard of glass on the beach, for goodness sake, take whatever actions you need and then cover that monstrosity up. Please. It’s just gross.

Your food. Oh my goodness. It’s nice when you go out to dinner and see a magnificent, artistic arrangement of food. And it’s nice to share the beauty of these creations with those of us who are eating peanut butter at our desks, but understand that much of the attraction of these sights may be lost on your post. Without the aroma, ambiance, professional photography and lighting your masterpiece could very well look downright unappetizing. And to some of my friends who are on alternative diets, all I can do is beg you to enjoy your meal without any feeling of obligation to share it. Bone broth is a new phase for one of my Facebook foodie friends, and if I see another photo of her ingredients (animal bones with meat hanging from them in a generous cup of melted butter) I may just have to cut her off.


And there are a few things that are not visually offensive, but still not worthy of the space they take up on my screen and in my brain.

The time. I understand the synchronicity you feel when you notice patterns in your everyday life. Believe me, I do. But do you notice that other people’s astonishment of these little miracles is pretty much non-existent? 11:11 on your clock? Or 12:34? Or is your odometer reading something cosmic? Awesome. Keep it to yourself.

Your workout. I love to see photos of my friends and family in yoga poses, on ski trips, at the beach, and enjoying their active lifestyles. And I am truly joyful to hear about your healthy actions. As far as seeing your run on a map or hearing how many squat, push-ups, planks you did today? Not so interesting. EXCEPTION TO THIS RULE: If you run a path that then creates a piece of art on your map, please continue. (This particular “artist” also creates adult-only images. http://www.theguardian.com/technology/2014/aug/06/runner-nike-san-francisco-penis.)

I’ve met my match. THIS GUY RAN BOBA FETT FROM STAR WARS. Fuck. Regram from @ivegarok7 #bobafett #starwars #runningdrawing #rundraw #rundicks #nikeplus #nikeplusart #starwars

Your side of the story only. Facebook can be a great place to vent to your friends. Not regularly, but now and then when you really need it. But give us a little of the story, please! If you want me to take your side and support you, I need a little idea as to what the heck you are talking about. Here’s what I mean:

One day, a person I shall not name posted, “OMG. I have had it. That’s it. I give up.”

If you are in that much of a hurry that you cannot give us a little background, maybe this is not the time to write on social media. Are you fed up with waiting on a long line at the bank? Or are you standing on a ledge?

Truly, I am just sharing this rant because I think it’s fun to laugh at ourselves. I know the most important Facebook rule to avoid frustration and gross-out: scroll on. So, go forth and post away.


3 thoughts on “Facebook Etiquette Musings

  1. YUP You’re funny! But, although I never posted it 12:34 is what the time is 90% of the time that I look at the clock. I thought it was only I. Also, you neglected people who let you know what time they are going to bed and whether or not they could sleep!

    Liked by 1 person

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